Why Ghosting (in Business or Otherwise) Is So Ghastly 👻
You’ve been ghosted. I’ve been ghosted. We’ve all been ghosted.
I’m not afraid of no ghost, but I am definitely perturbed by them.
The word “ghosting” became part of the cultural lexicon in the early 2000s in step with (and as an unfortunate byproduct of) the rise of online dating apps. The phrase was used to articulate the undignified, yet common behaviour of cutting off all communication with another person without any warning. Many associated the frequency of the act with the anonymity of online dating. It’s easy to disappear on someone you barely know or may not have even met.
While the interpersonal use is a more modern form of communication (or lack thereof), it is a tale as old as time in the world of business. It’s acceptable practice to ignore cold calls, delete pitch emails and generally give the silent treatment to any unsolicited asks that come your way.
I’m not here to promote cold outreach. I am just as sick as the next person with the inauthentic messages crowding my LinkedIn mailbox. (I am quite certain that many people are not wildly intrigued by my profile and want me as part of their network.)
I also appreciate that sales is a numbers game so I respect that a funnel needs to be filled to reach a goal. And you don’t get if you don’t ask. That is business.
What I do take issue with is ghosting in response to an ask. What do I mean? Someone asks you for a proposal, or to provide some information, or to follow up to set a meeting and you do it, only to be met with radio silence.
WTF?
Yes, I said WTF and I mean it.
You asked me to do something and I took the time to do it and you can’t at the very least, acknowledge it?
Maybe you feel bad that you aren’t interested in whatever was sent. Just like dating, rejection can be awkward but in this modern world, it’s as easy as a few strokes of the keyboard. So if that’s the reason for people hiding under rocks, it doesn’t cut it as an excuse.
Or let me guess, you were just so busy. Newsflash: We’re all busy! We are all inundated with messages from everywhere (all that dinging, ringing, pinging, oh my!).
For those who need it (there are many of you out there), here is my simple formula for courteous communication:
Step 1: A simple thank you and confirmation of receipt.
Step 2: A timeline (e.g., “I’m travelling right now, sitting shiva for my cat, binging Netflix…so I’ll get back to you by [date].”)
Step 3: Feedback (this would be very nice to have but a tall order for some people)
Step 4: Direction (e.g., “don’t call me, I’ll call you,” etc.)
Is that so hard? I don’t think so. Whether you’re running your own business, or managing up the corporate ladder, we all have targets and deliverables we’re accountable for. What may be one item on your very long to-do list may be the make-or-break deal that the other person is waiting on.
You are not required to commit to something you can’t or don’t want to, but by disappearing into the ether, you not only diminish trust and respect, but you make it hard for others to make vital business decisions.
So leave the ghosting to the jackasses on Tinder, and do the right thing. Any response is better than none at all.
Joanna Track is the founder and operating partner of Good Eggs & Co., a boutique content marketing consultancy. She is a strategist, storyteller and eternal email evangelist.
